第48节

，虽然我想settledown（安定下来），但settledown的方式并不仅仅是结婚一种，结了婚的人未必settledown，像展辉，结婚多年了，从来没有settledown，永远都是闹腾。

我要的名份，甚至不是“情人”的名份。

情人是什么？

情人是破坏他人家庭，抢夺他人丈夫的坏女人—妻子如是说；

情人是在爱情与道德的漩涡中挣扎的矛盾女人－－情人如是说；

情人是使你一边缠绵着山盟海誓一边偷看手表耽心误了回家时间的那个女人－－丈夫如是说；

情人是文学家戏剧家画家音乐家创作灵感的来源－－各位“家”们如是说。

9/21/06

Jack told me that Binsley was dating his wife’s cousin for a few months. I felt so terrible. I don’t think I can take that. It’s too much for me. I’m so disappointed in him and in myself. I want nothing to do with him. Nothing！ I loved him this long. I cannot continue anymore. (杰克告诉我，Binsley曾经跟他妻子的表妹谈了几个月恋爱。我感觉太可怕了，无法忍受。我对他对我自己都很失望，我再也不要跟他搅在一起了，我爱了他这么久，他却干出这种事来，我再也无法爱他了。)

I wanted to send this to him：（我想把下面这段话写给他：）

“I really feel stupid for liking you this long.